This whole week...
No.. Perhaps this whole month.
Subjected to alot of emotional and physical stress.
Studies is demanding alot from me.
Assignments are pilling because of my moodiness.
Grandma is in the hospital and still ICU.
Who can I run to?
Who can I cry to?
I expect myself to be stronger.
I expect myself to be tougher.
Haiz.
Really am in a bad mood.
Call it pms or whatever.
Gets irritated so easily these few days.
Gets angry at the slightest thing.
The world is demanding more than I can give.
Pray that I can still handle and cope.
Let me take a rest.
Please.
Labels: Update
Im smiling
Im fooling around
Im laughing.
But does anyone know Im broken and hurting on the inside?
Really hate being emo during this festive period.
No matter how hard I try
No matter how soft I try
It still comes back to haunt me.
Such a simple note could make me shed a tear.
Am I being naive or stupid?
Perhaps both.
Im here asking the same question over and over again.
Can I do this all over again with 100%?
I dont think so.
But I will try my best.
Lets pray and hope for the best.
Labels: Life, Update
Just because your standing still doesnt mean the world aint moving.
Do you believe in second chances?
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you believe what is destiny?
Give love a chance. And you may discover many many unseen things.
Lets just hope that I get it right after such a terrible terrible failure.
Your just digusting to watch.
Labels: Life, Update
Not all things are dead.
Not all worms are bad.
Not all flowers are poisonous.
Please understand my decision.
May I get it right this time.
Will You follow me?
Labels: Life, Update
Im not being the super goody goody little boy trying to spread religion in this post.
No matter what religion you believe in.
Or some cases. You dont believe in.
Prayer is always the strongest weapon or faith or believe in any religion
We pray when we are in need of help.
We pray when we are in trouble.
We pray when we are in despair.
We pray when we are happy.
We pray when we are sad.
And there are alot of reasons to pray.
You may disagree with me.
But its still MY blog and MY opinion.
Everytime you say a prayer.
Asking for divine intervention or gifts thats you cant afford.
Don't you feel relax?
In times of trouble and uncertainty.
Don't you feel assured?
How amazing is a prayer?
Try it yourself and you will know the anwser.
Dear Father,
Tonight is the 14th of December of 2010.
Its the day that my broadband limit was removed and restarted.
Thank you.
I would also like to pray for my family and relatives as well.
As we are in times of uncertainty about the economy.
I pray and hope that things will return normal and smiles could be restored.
I also pray for the well-being of all the ones on earth.
Be it people I know or don't know.
I pray that Father you will embrace those who are in pain, sorrow, sadness and in need of help
Grant them wisdom and the heart to solve their obstacles easily and smoothly.
I also pray for my friends that may achieve what they aim and trying to achieve.
Father I would also like to pray that my car can get fix as soon as possible as there are more and more problems to my beloved car.
But Father. In addition I would like to pray for a special few because I care about them
Victor,Mun Yee,Peikzhi,Melvin,Darren,Gareth,Elaine,Arry,Paco,Kelvin,Felicia
I pray that Father will grant them journey mercy as they travel back and forth from destination from destination.
And for Chee Ann,SiewHui,Josh,Eric,William,Joaquin.
That Father you will take care of them and watch over them so that they dont get into serious trouble.
And the last but not least Father.
I pray for You.
In You I place my faith and trust.
Amen.
Labels: Life, Update
Even tough guys pray when they are in trouble.
So Im putting my hands together as I pass this time of trials.
Life is just like a game.
Yet it is not to be treated as a game.
You play by aiming to win
You dont play by aiming that you MUST win.
Like my coach used to say.
Its just as simple as living your life.
You take the ball, you settle your breathing, take aim. relax and go.
Its just that easy.
But in life we also like to make things difficult.
We want to make patterns to be more cool,
We think by winning alone we will be popular,
We want to be famous,
And the worse of all is. You stop being yourself.
How does these add up?
You take the ball.
You think that you must STRIKE.
You think that people are watching.
You think by throwing harder or faster will help.
And to impress others you play a style that even your coach dont recognise.
Thats when you lose.
Even before your ball touches the lane.
How it makes sense now!!
If I listened to this advice long time ago.
I will surely be better.
But he also added.
When your ball leaves your hand.
There is nothing you can do except hope for the best.
Don't regret nor feel bad about the bad throw.
But make sure you don't repeat the same mistake on your next frame.
A mistake is made in a second.
But forever remembered.
I am currently finishing my current frame.
And I wish to start over.
I am willing to forget terrible things.
And im willing to forgive.
An open heart and an open mind is what you need.
I wish upon the bright moon.
That all the pieces will fall into place gracefully.
I wish to be friends.
But the final say is still up to you.
Labels: Update
A secret is amazing you know.
It bonds people together.
It helps a few individual feel closer to each other.
Brothers and sisters share this secret and uphold this secret only to those worthy of knowing.
A secret is also devastating to a relationship.
As more and more secrets are kept from one individual.
We tend to avoid that person and mark him/her as an outcast.
Often afraid that the person would ruin things.
Things are even worse when they used to share secrets.
Remember the times that we shared secret and laugh it out when the beans spilled?
Remember we poked each other to tell secrets?
Remember we tease each other?
Remember the time we shared?
Do you?
If you do then what are you doing now.
Im not saying you should tell me all your secret.
But mind you.
Don't whisper secrets in front of a person which you don't intend to tell.
How many things do I know?
Lets just say..
I know less than what you guys thought.
Do brothers and sisters treat each other like this?
Maybe I am wrong.
But just look back.
If I am wrong.
Tell me.
If your wrong.
Tell yourself.
If you don't
then there is pretty much nothing that can be done.
Labels: Update
Sometimes when a given duty has priority over all other stuff.
Family always comes after God.
And then comes friends.
Its sad when you are flying aeroplanes to your friends.
I deeply apologize if I made any empty promises in the recent times.
There is just no doubt in me that family comes first.
Blame it on teaching or ethics.
Sure I am complaining about doing things sometimes.
But that doesnt change one fact.
That is. You still have to do it.
Thats why the phrase like
"DUTY ABOVE ALL"
"SERVICE TO MANKIND"
I may no be a doctor nor a nurse.
But when it comes to taking care of people.
I try to do my best.
Yea. I missed out alot of fun things.
But I am trying to balance a few things at once.
Current status of nicholas aw.
Family - Yes
Busy - Yes
Money -Broke
Love - None
Heart -No idea
Friends - No idea - sorry if i ffk-ed -
Car - Soon gonna go.
Happiness - 50:50
Lost in thoughts.
After so much seriousness on top.
Lets have some laugh okay.
If not funny then forgive me
All this bloopers are true!
1.Bought WRIGLEYS chewing gum (in a black box) and my auntie thought i bought condoms.
2.Thought my grandfather's boxer is my grandma's undergarment
3.Lost to a kancil in a stop-go race.
4.Went shopping when one girl call me korkor.. -mind you.. i think she's older-
5.Asked a cashier where is the "bags" section in manderin. She anwsered back in manderin. Making me ask yet again in English -.-
6. What I thought is a secret is not longer a secret.
7. I slipped on a banana skin. =.= they ARE slippery.. -.-
8. Did a wheelspin in an old benz and got shocked. Panic-ed because never expected it
9.Drove my grandma home. She said. "You usually drive like this? Ahgong drives faster..."
Trust is fragile.
Secrets are fragile too.
Mind you please?
Im sorry its all words. My internet connection is limited.
Will update WITH pictures soon okay? =)
Labels: Update
Its never easy to let go something which you cherish.
Time heals wounds.
But time doesnt help with pain.
As long as my heart and yours beats differently.
We shall continue to live happily with or without each others consent.
It is better if things stay the same way.
Things are falling apart gracefully.
Maybe someday we shall meet again and laugh at our silly mistakes.
I wish you have a smooth relationship with everyone that you care about.
-
Its not that of money.
Its not because of things.
It is also not because that your pretty/handsome.
It is because I care for you as a friend.
-dedicated to vdbb,lmy,lsh-
-
Labels: Update
Not all those who wander are lost
We just like to express ourselves differently.
But most of us are lost.
Labels: Update
On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright. And this thing turned out so evil,
I don’t know why I’m still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take death to new extremes.
But you’ll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.
Means so much yet it does'nt mean anything.
Being stabbed in the back hurts.
Yet the one who can cure it is
the one who stabbed you.
Labels: Update
When will we know our trueself?
Is it by cheating and deceiving people to gain their wealth and pity?
Is it by playing and fooling around with peoples feelings?
Or is it that you use your 'attractiveness' to charm people?
You will only know your true self when you meet true friends who don't act like bastard/bitches.
Do you have good friends like that?
One is hard to find.
Two is near impossible to find.
Three is impossible to find.
And right here I have 3 wonderful friends.
Who are walking with me right now.
DO you have such friends?
Or do you have snakes and wolves on your back?
I loathe people who wears masks and pretends.
Still amazes me till today at how good you people are in it.
If I ever grow up to be successful.
Don't worry. I will surely nominate you people to the Oscar Awards.
Labels: Update
This few weeks will be busy.
Very busy.
Have to take care of ahgong and take care of him + do things that he usually does.
Today is officially the day i took over.
Its super tiring.
When i work i feel like sleeping. Because I have to wake up early.
When i sleep i really dream about taking care of ahgong and wash dishes. Because that is the MAIN thing i do.
After ahgong's eye is okay.
then its my auntie's turn.
then ahgong again
then auntie's.
I will die if the list gets any longer.
Work work.
Salary?
Give you eat celery got la! hahaha
Sometimes things are not meant to be understood.
It is meant to be felt.
When the love for someone isn't fading or goes away.
It plays nasty tricks on you.
Sleep early .
Wake up early .
Work like kuli early .
=)
Take care yea my friends.
I love every single one of you as much as my own family.
Thats right except for 2 fren la..
Because I heart them more! wakakak
Labels: Update
Yesss....
Today I fanally get to play sims3 already.. been dreaming it for 2 days jor..
Actually no la.. never play sims before..
so im super curious! haha
Wanna play!!
Its in my NEW external hard disk! =X wkakaka
so i need to bath nice nice only touch it..
Cant wait for it! =)
And hor.. If you want lend things to Victor Dang Bang Bin..
Dont!
He will spoil it geh! XD
Labels: Update
Since two of my best buddies complained saying this blog very emo.
Then I post some happy stuff la...
Yesh.. I am saying about you..
Victor Dang Bang Bin!
Lam Mun Yee!
But have to kinda agree with them la..
Because when I emo only got feel to blog! hhahaa
If you guys are reading this..
Mind using the chatbox? haha vry lonely la...
Ok la.. back to the topic.. no more advertisement! =)
It has been nearly 2 months if im not wrong since our(if you can relate) holiday started.
After semester 4 we got the 3 months break.
I was looking forward to it actually.
But now hor.. Nearly wan to fat mou edi.. Mushroom also start to grow on my head le.
The activities I mostly do now is...
1.Facebok
2. Sleep
3. Eat
4.Facebook.
Lifeless..
I want to work ah! No money le.
Yesterday I got rm325 from melvin.
Used 150 to buy external hard disk yesterday.
Used 50 bucks buy earphone today.
Left 125.
My gosh.. work till like cow but spend so fast. >.<
Really missed the classes and the fun times which I share with my classmates.
Cute boy!
LoL let you guess who more cute la! haha
Hmm.. perhaps the most epic picture I have in my lappy.
Haha I love this picture!
Labels: Update
Have you ever cried for someone?
Have you ever cared for someone?
Have you ever think of someone and giggled?
Have you ever think of someone not because he or she is the opposite sex?
Have you ever treat your friends as buddies/brothers/sisters?
I have to admit.
With one hand I can account for all the friends that I had cried for.
I have cared for alot of person I hope.
I always think so stupid things and laugh like an idiot frequently.
Yes. I think of someone because I feel there is a connection between us.
Not just as in a boyfriend nor girlfriend.
Just best of friends.
And finally yes. I treat most of my friends as buddies/brothers/sisters.
Do they treat me back the same way?
Only they themselves and God knows.
This dreadful month I lost a sister.
Though I wasn't that close to her.
The pain of losing her is still hard to bear.
Life is so fragile right?
I mean one moment you could be laughing and giggling.
But the other moment. You could be leaving all your friends and relatives without saying goodbye.
Have you ever said "I love you" to your loved ones?
Love is very subjective.
It could be shown to parents, lovers, siblings, buddies and enemies alike.
This week. I send a message to my parents saying
"I love you mum/dad. Stay safe yea. God bless"
Both replied nearly the same way.
"Love you too son"
That feeling of assurance of someone who loves you as much as you love them is amazing.
I cannot describe it due to my lack of language skills.
Even if I try. The best word I can think of is ESTACY .
To those who care about someone.
Take a minute of your precious time and show your love to your loved ones.
No matter how simple it maybe.
You will never get bored of that feeling!
Girls sometimes over think stuffs.
Boys sometimes under think stuffs.
If you expect to find perfect partners. Either marry yourself or your mirror.
I miss you Chloe. =*(
You in your Vios.
and your ugly P
Your expressions to people.
Your friendliness to people.
I will never ever in my life forget your smile.
A smile which makes other people smile too.
A smile that I am working so hard to get.
I hope that you will watch over your friends and relatives.
Go in peace and rest assured.
Bye my love.
Amist this mourning period and being sad and emo-ish.
Who could have thought that you could creep into my mind.
Friendship doesn't end nor fade.
Its just the ignorance of man and women alike.
Labels: Update
First and foremost I would like to sincerely apologize for the long hiatus.
Haven't had the time nor gave the effort to keep this blog updated.
I am not going to give you some whacky reason.
But I am just going to be straight forward.
I was lazy and inspiration was really low to write anything.
It is now 1st of November. 3.19Am. A beautiful Monday *early* morning.
Was on my laptop watching movies that I downloaded.
There were many movies to choose from but in the end there was only 2 movies that caught my attention.
That was Green Zone and She's Out Of My League.
It was a clear choice which movie I wanted.
If it was under normal circumstances.
I would clearly and without doubt went for the action movie rather than the romantic/comedy movie.
But something in my heart.
*I aint making this up*
Said to me.. hey why don't give the romantic movie a try.
Its not like I was in romance or in love okay.
and Queenie is my imaginary girlfriend. =)
This movie is highly recommended in my personal opinion.
Its really a nice romantic / comedy movie.
This movie taught me 3 things.
1. Always be yourself.
How many times in your life you had become a different person just to impress someone?
Is life about getting praises and applause from people?
I don't know about YOU.
But to tell you the truth.
I have..
I act like a complete doofus. A total banana.
But its the real and the sincere you who really makes who you are!
Always remember that!
It is hard to follow other people.
but its easy to be yourself.
Go ahead. Choose your way. =)
2. Have confidence.
There are unarguable proof that life has its ups and down.
One moment your flying.
But the other could mean your on the ground or under the sea.
Life is like that.
Who ever said its gonna be easy?
But. Who also said its gonna be hard?
Its just your perspective and how you look at things.
Have that courage to do what you feel right and don't let negative things stop you.
Instead embrace your weaknesses and try to make yourself better.
If you don't try. There are 6,697,254,040 other people in the whole wide world who are waiting in line
3. Friends are important.
No doubt. Absolutely no doubt about the third lesson which I learned.
Who you befriends with is very very important.
Stay with the wrong friends and your condemn to life.
Stay with the right friends and your life will be fruitful even if your poor.
Its not the things that make you popular.
Its not the things that makes you famous.
It may not even be the things that you dreamt about.
Have you ever thought about how valuable your friends are?
Without their care and support and sometimes cold water splashing.
Do you think you will be here in your place today?
I cant give you an anwser.
But to me. I am 100% sure that I won't be the one writing this today
if it wasnt for my friends.
All the good things and bad things has made us closer indefinitely!
Think of the time and effort just to see your friends.
They are just doing like you.
But all it takes for a friendship to fail is a thought.
"Nah.. Maybe next time"
Cherish your loved ones before you lose them.
Its not the big things.
Its not the little things either.
But its all the little things which makes the big things.
Perhaps I have made this list before.
But. From the bottom of my heart.
There is not even a way to show my appreciation
My brothers and sisters.
Love them till I can't love them
*In no particular order*
Victor
Melvin
Darren
Gareth
Arul
Kam Mou
Alvin
Seng Man
Joseph
Kah Seng
Yew Chung
Ong Beng
Wesley
Rosheen
Joshua
Chu Jyh
Joaquin
Josh
Eric
Jlun
Felicia
Denise
Elaine
Munyee
Apek
Siewpao
Sotong
Chee Ann
Big head
Hui Xin
Dora
Jia Foong
Melissa
Theresa
There are still many more friends which I cannot list out at the moment.
But you know right that I care for you.
I will cry if I lost anyone of you.
Do you think I should continue to post personal confessions of my friends like the previous 4 friends?
Give me your opinion on my chatbox.
And once again. Thank you for reading my lazy blog =)
Hearts to you.
-Im just waiting to be discovered-
My current idols and stars =)
Labels: Life, Update
